She Had The World
by Grigri
Summary: How much can your life change following a tragedy? - DUE TO AN HAND INJURY IT'S GOING TO TAKE ME LONGER TO UPDATE MY STORIES, BUT I HAVEN'T QUIT! THANK YOU FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING!
1. Chapter 1: It Starts With a Tragedy

**SHE HAD THE WORLD**

**Summary: **How much can your life change following a tragedy?

* * *

**Chapter 1: It Starts With a Tragedy**

**June 2nd 2014 - Monday**

"Angela what if something happened to them?" Maura paced, trying to even her breathing.

"I'm sure they are fine, dear," The older woman said in a higher pitch than usual. For once she was able to control her own fears and be coherent enough to support Maura.

Maura shook her head. "No. Angela. Something is wrong." The woman swallowed hard. She was never one to follow instincts, but now… even she couldn't deny it. It was a deep ache in her chest that told her something was off. "I can feel it, Angela. Something is very wrong."

Angela knew what Maura was talking about. It was mother instinct. She could feel it too. But for once, she had to be the one holding it together. She would not tell Maura she had felt it too. Instead she looked at the blonde woman before her, reached out and embraced her. "Everything will be okay," She lied.

**Rizzoli&Isles**

She had been driving aimlessly, trying to get Nash to fall asleep. He hadn't been sleeping well for the last couple of nights and so, as a last resort, she had told Maura she would drive him around for a while and be back soon with the sleeping child. She had never expected to be caught in a freeway accident. She had barely had any time to process what was happening, what would happen. One minute she was driving in the cold, silent night as Nash's eyes started to close, the other she saw the truck speeding wrong-way straight at her. She heard the sirens and she knew the truck driver had no intention of even trying to turn the vehicle. She had no time, no escape. She glanced one last time at Nash, steered the wheel slightly to transfer the weight to the outside tires and pulled the handbrake, locking the rear wheels of Maura's blue Prius. The car slid sideways with amazing precision.

Jane smiled.

The impact would be on her side.

Nash would have a chance.

With that thought in her mind, she heard the loud impact before she even had time to feel it on her side, crushing her ribs. Her body shook violently and shooting pain made her scream. She heard Nash's cries as the car flipped and flipped again, landing upside down several miles away from the collision spot. Jane cried through gritted teeth as the overwhelming pain travelled through her body. In just a matter of seconds it all faded to black.

**Rizzoli&Isles**

"Ma'am can you hear me?" The medic asked loudly, checking Jane's pulse. It was there. Faint, but it was there.

"Can you hear me?" He repeated when Jane didn't open her eyes, moved, or made any signs that she was awake.

"She's unconscious. Hold the C-Spine please!" The medic told his EMT assistant.

"Please pass me a C-collar!"

"Okay. Let's go. Attention now, we'll rotate her!"

"I'll come hold the C-spine." The EMT called out, going around the car and positioning himself next to the door in front of the medic. He immediately provided stabilization of the neck.

"Okay, perfect! Here we go… You got the C-spine?" He asked as he held Jane through her underarms and gently rotated her body as the EMT followed the movement holding Jane's neck.

"Perfect. Okay… we're gonna put her on the long board slowly!" He said as they laid her down on the end on the board. "Let's scoot, nice and slow. 1, 2, 3…" And steadily they pushed Jane's body to lay almost fully on the board. "Perfect. One more time. Nice and slow! 1, 2, 3…" And Jane's bloodied and nearly lifeless body was finally laying completely on the board.

"She's stopped breathing!" The paramedic called out as they placed the board on the stretcher. He grabbed the laryngoscope and positioned himself behind Jane's head, removing the C-collar. "Watch her C-spine! Keep in-line traction!" He ordered as soon as the collar was removed. The EMT immediately assumed position.

"There's too much blood I can't see… I need suction!" The medic shouted. "Dammit!" The medic cursed, putting the scope down and bagging Jane. "MARK!" He shouted to another medic. "I need your help!" He resumed suctioning, but there was still too much blood. "I can't see!" He repeated. "Turn suction up!" He commanded.

"It is up to the max!" The EMT told him.

"It's better we try it on the chopper, we have better control. Let's bag her and move her!" Mark said, hurriedly.

"I can see the vocal cords," Carl said, once settled inside the chopper. "I'm in!" He breathed out after a moment of dead silence. They quickly hooked the oxygen tube and fastened the C-collar back in place.

"Let's go, let's go, let's go!" Mark yelled to the pilot after checking the right positioning of the tube. "Fire it up!"

**Rizzoli&Isles**

"This is Mass General on Beta-Two. Go ahead."

"We're incoming on Air-vac One with two major traumas."

"Go ahead Air-vac One."

"Okay folks, there's two multiple traumas coming in!" The attending shouted to the ER personnel. "You!" He turned to a nurse. "Clear me two trauma rooms!"

"What do you got?" He shouted to the paramedic so he could be heard over the chopper's engine.

"Mom got an obstructed airway, multiple fractures and a head trauma!" The medic shouted as loud as he could. "3 year old, possible internal bleeding, broken arm. He's going into shock!"

"Draw up meds! Watch that IV! Fluids wide open!" A doctor called inside the trauma room as soon as Jane was rushed inside. "Let's get a Lateral C-spine X-ray, CBC, type and cross for four units of blood!" Doctor Lewis shouted, already assessing Jane's injuries more closely.

"Draw up a saline flush," a nurse called out to her assistant nurses. "Crash cart!" She added as prevention, as she studied the monitors Jane had been hooked to. "BP is only 65 palp! Pulse is 160 thready!"

The team continued to work on Jane for the next minutes. Shouting orders to each other and trying to assess the amount of damage she had sustained.

"We got a bloody tap, page the surgeon! The doctor commanded. "Let us get ready for an exploratory laparotomy."

"I'm worried about an intracranial bleed. Can we rush that head CT?" The doctor chimed in once again. "Nurse have them clear a CT room ASAP! Tell them the patient is on her way right now prior to surgery."

"What do you got?" The surgeon asked when he got in only moments later.

"Possible intracranial bleeder. Cracked ribs, hypotensive intraperitoneal hemorrhage confirmed by lavage, possibly spleen. Facial trauma, intubated in the field with an RSI. Hemoglobin is 9, hematocrit is 28. Type and cross four, 650 cc's of saline."

"Alright! Let's take her up!" The surgeon said calmly but forcefully.

"Doctor Lewis!" A nurse called, chasing after him. "The firefighters found this in the car."

"Law enforcement?" He asked, already knowing the answer, as he studied the badge the nurse was flashing him.

The elder woman nodded. "Boston Police it says."

"Alright." The bald doctor exhaled. "Try to get a hold of her lieutenant and let them know what's going on."

**Rizzoli&Isles**

"I want my mommy!" Nash sobbed his anguish as the paramedic and the pediatrician removed him from inside the chopper and wheeled him into the hospital.

"I know, honey. I'm sorry, but we'll be right here with you," the woman told him calmly, pronouncing every word very clearly. "You are a very brave boy."

"I want my mommy!" He repeated, inconsolable.

"I know honey. I know," his doctor repeated. "Can you tell me your name?"

"N-nash!" He sobbed.

"Can you tell me your full name, sweetie?" The woman pressed as she steered him into the trauma room opposite to where they were rushing Jane.

"Nash… A-Alexander Isles," he cried. "I can't get up!" He wailed, fighting the restraints.

"I know sweetie. The nice paramedic had to put a special seatbelt on you so you would be very still and wouldn't get hurt."

"I no wanna to be here!" He complained as he moved his uninjured arm and tried to pull away the oxygen mask on his face.

"No, no, no, no, sweetheart. Let's leave the mask, okay? It's helping you breathing."

"I want my mommy!" He broke into hysterical crying once again.

"This kid is scared to death. We have to sedate him," a nurse advised.

The doctor nodded. "Give him Versed. 1 milligram IV"

"Nash, sweetie? Were you in the car with your mommy?" The doctor asked him before sedating him to make sure and to get a better idea of who she could try to contact.

"N-no," he sobbed.

"Who was in the car with you sweetie?"

"Mama," he whispered. "Mama was hurt," he wailed.

"The doctors are trying to fix your mama, honey."

"Can you tell me your mommy's name?"

"Mommy!"

"Yes sweetie. So we can call her and she can come see you," the doctor smiled down at him, stroking his forehead.

"Mommy's name is mommy!"

"Alright sweetie. We're going to call mommy, okay?"

"Kay…"

Doctor Lewis finally nodded at the nurse, allowing her to sedate the little blonde boy.

"Someone talk to Dr. Clayton and see if they got an ID on the woman who came with him so we can try and reach their family."

"I'm on it," a young nurse responded.

"Alright people, let's take him upstairs. I want an arm and abdomen CT."

**Rizzoli&Isles**

"Doctor Isles," Maura answered quickly as soon as she heard the first notes of her ringtone.

"Doctor Isles this is Lieutenant Cavanaugh"

"Oh… lieutenant." Maura breathed out not hiding her disappointment.

"Doctor Isles I just received a call and I need you to meet us at Massachusetts General Hospital."

Maura frowned. "Do we have a case?" Why would Jane's lieutenant call her instead of dispatch? She suddenly realized what was going on. "I understand you may be trying to reach Jane, lieutenant. I'd give her the message myself but she left almost four hours ago and she's not answering my calls."

"Right. I actually wanted to talk to you Doctor Isles. If you could meet us here…"

"Us?" Maura asked slightly impatient. "You mean Jane is already there?" She asked, feeling both anger and relief take over her. She couldn't believe Jane had taken their son to a crime scene, however, considering the scenarios she had been imagining she could very well let this one pass. Of course she would make sure Jane would hear her displeasure though.

"Uhm… yes, Doctor Isles," Cavanaugh hesitated. "Jane is… already here."

"Very well then. I will meet you there. Where am I headed?"

"Mass General."

"No. I mean… where in the hospital?"

"Oh, right… If you could please meet me at the lobby?"

"I'll be there in 15 minutes, lieutenant."

"So?" Angela asked impatiently as soon as Maura disconnected the phone.

The small woman turned to her and grinned. "Everything is fine, Angela. Jane got pulled into a case. Lieutenant Cavanaugh just called me and wants me to meet them there."

"Oh, thank God!" Angela put her hand above her heart and exhaled. "I was really getting worried something had happened. I didn't want to tell you, but I had a bad feeling. Thank God they're okay."

"It will be okay Angela. I have to go, but we'll see you in the morning!" Maura smiled widely. After such a scare, she was sure there was absolutely nothing that could cause her even the tiniest amount of unhappiness.

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**A/N: I'm not a doctor. I'm not a nurse. I'm not a paramedic. I'm not an EMT. I know nooooothing about medicine. Inaccuracies are to be expected. I am to blame for them. Me and TV Shows...  
**

**Please, if you enjoyed, leave me a review! :) Or if you didn't enjoy it you can also leave me a review.  
**


	2. Chapter 2: Breaking News

**A/N: YOU ARE AMAZING! I still can't believe my eyes when I look and see that it's been just a little over 24 hours since I posted the 1****st**** chapter and already there are 11 reviews, 6 Favs and 28 Followers! Thank YOU sooo much! You have no idea how happy I am. I just had to post the next chapter for you guys. Thank you, thank you! :D I tried to reply to everyone but some of you won't receive Private Messages and some of you are anonymous guests, but please know I appreciate your reviews! :)**

**I know exactly where I want to take this story, but I'll accept any suggestions gladly.**

**Let me know what you think of this chapter, please. **

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**Chapter 2: Breaking News**

**June 2nd 2014 - Monday**

Maura strode nervously into the hospital, eager to finally see Jane and check on her son. There was a part of her that still felt uneasy. She had been so anxious to receive good news about Jane and their son that she almost missed the tone of voice of the lieutenant. She almost ignored the odd situation of having him calling her to notify her of a new case. She had jumped to a conclusion. She had guessed she was walking into a case, but after disconnecting the call and on her way to the hospital, as she sat on the backseat of the cab, she finally put her feelings aside and processed the information. Lieutenant Cavanaugh had seemed edgy and sounded like he was holding back something. Maura thought she had heard worry and sadness in his voice, but she couldn't be sure. For all she knew it could simply be a terrible case. Maybe it was regarding one of their own. Maura knew those cases always hit them like a ton of bricks; whenever one of their own ended up on her autopsy table she knew very well every detective and officer in the building would stop their lives to bring justice to their fallen colleague. She knew very well because she'd witnessed such unhealthy behaviors first hand through Jane. She had seen how Jane had stopped eating and sleeping. The brunette would simply shut down, only speaking about the case. She would lose focus on everything else. Maura imagined something similar happened with everyone else in Law Enforcement. It was probably the same as losing a family member.

_What if it's Jane? _

_Why else would Cavanaugh call me directly? _

_Why didn't dispatch call me? _

_Why didn't Jane call me?_

Maura felt her stomach turning at those thoughts and the fear that still lingered from all those hours of anxiousness suddenly multiplied.

No. She couldn't tell what, but something was definitely going on.

The confident medical examiner that she usually was, was now in the middle of the lobby looking paler than chalk. She looked around and finally spotted Lieutenant Cavanaugh speaking with a nurse. Like an arrow in flames she focused on her target and walked as fast as she could. She just needed to hear it. Whatever it was she needed to hear it. She needed to know.

"Lieutenant!" Maura called him as soon as she was close enough for him to hear her.

Cavanaugh looked over his shoulder. Immediately Maura's heartbeat accelerated.

_Corrugator muscles pulling his eyebrows in, while the frontalis muscle pulls them up causing oblique eyebrows._

_Pouching of the inner part of the forehead._

_Looking slightly downwards._

_Corners of the lips pulled straight down._

_He is sad. _

_Or maybe it's shame… _

_No. It's definitely sadness. Shame doesn't involve muscle activation. One only avoids…_

"Doctor Isles," Cavanaugh said, pulling Maura away from her thoughts.

"Lieutenant I can't help but be surprised that I got a call directly from you," she pushed the conversation, looking intently at his expression.

"Doctor Isles I think you should sit down…" The older man, rested his hand on the small of Maura's back and ever so gently directed her to a chair.

"I'm sorry…" Maura shook her head, turning to look at the man. "What is going on?" She asked with a hint of irritation in her voice.

"Doctor Isles you should…"

"I don't want to sit down!" Maura grimaced. She wasn't used to raising her voice to anyone. "Please tell me what's going on," she pleaded gently.

"It's… Maybe we should call the nurse," he suggested, trying to find a nurse.

"No!" Maura put herself directly in front of the lieutenant's line of sight and frowned. "You tell me what's going on and you tell me now!" she cried out.

"Doctor Isles I got a call from a staff member of this hospital nearly an hour ago…" He looked down. He couldn't stomach looking Maura in the eye. "Jane and Nash were brought in bad shape," he finished nearly inaudibly. But Maura heard it loud and clear.

When Cavanaugh finally looked up at Maura the blonde looked livid. If she had seemed pale before, now she looked ten times worse. He noticed her dilated pupils and that she started shaking and so he guided her back to the seat. She offered no resistance. It was as if she wasn't aware of what was going on.

Maura couldn't move. She felt chills travelling through her body. She wanted to cry, she wanted to scream but she was paralyzed. She couldn't hear anything but muffled voices around her. She couldn't see anything but blurred faced. She felt something moist trickling down her face and felt hot flashes in her head. Her lungs felt heavy and when she felt her body being dragged she couldn't shove them away. She tried to speak, but her jaw was locked.

"Doctor Isles!" Cavanaugh called, shaking her shoulder slightly.

The woman didn't respond.

"Doctor Isles!" He repeated. "Doctor Isles!"

Maura suddenly looked at him and took a deep breath with her open mouth. She felt as if she had been drowning.

"Where are they?" she asked hoarsely.

"I don't know I…"

"WHERE ARE THEY?!" she demanded in a yell, getting up from the chair and taking off to the nurse's station.

"Ma'am I need you to calm down," the nurse spoke calmly.

"The hell I do!" Maura replied. She couldn't care less about politeness at this moment. She had just been told her girlfriend and son had been brought to the hospital in bad shape. Hell would have to freeze over and over again before she would calm down. "My girlfriend! And m-my son! Where are they?" she demanded.

"Ma'am please calm down. What's your son's name?"

"Nash Alexander Isles," she replied in a hurry. "And my girlfriend Detective Jane Clementine Rizzoli."

"Ma'am I can't give you any information on your girlfriend if you are not a family member. Is there anyone I can contact from her family?"

"I will contact them myself. I'm her power of attorney and I demand to know what is going on with both of them!"

"Doctor Isles I'll contact Mrs Rizzoli and Frankie…" Cavanaugh whispered. She didn't bother to reply. She simply nodded and tapped her hand on the desk as she waited for the nurse to access the files on the computer.

"Ma'am what's your name?" the small brunette asked her.

"Maura Dorothea Isles."

"Doctor Isles?" the nurse asked stunned. "THE Doctor Isles?"

The blonde swallowed her frustration. "My girlfriend and my son please?" she asked, choking in tears.

"Of course, Doctor Isles." The woman nodded, typing something else on the computer. "Your girlfriend and son were involved in a traffic accident." She finally spoke.

Maura gasped, trying to breathe.

"Your girlfriend was brought in unconscious. She had a facial trauma, cracked ribs, an intracranial bleed and hemoperitoneum. She's currently in surgery. The doctors are trying to repair the damage."

"A-an-d my s-son?" she sobbed.

"Your son is also currently in surgery. We couldn't wait for anyone of the family to show up and sign the consent so the attending in charge assumed responsibility. Your son also had internal bleeding. From the last update on his chart I can say it was due to pancreatic injury. He had a fractured elbow and the orthopedic surgeon is also in the operating room repairing it by placing metal pins."

"Oh God…" Maura sobbed, suddenly feeling very faint. She brought her hand to her mouth to prevent more sobs from escaping and closed her eyes tightly, trying in vain to prevent her warm tears from streaming down.

**Rizzoli&Isles**

Two hours went by painfully slow as Maura, Angela and Frankie all paced in the waiting room. Frost and Korsak had joined them and Cavanaugh the minute they heard the news.

"Why can't they tell us anything?" Angela asked exasperated for the millionth time.

"Ma, they're trying to save them," Frankie replied absentmindedly as he himself kept looking down at his wristwatch and huffing and puffing at the walls.

"Jane is strong Mrs. Rizzoli," Korsak told her.

"Yeah… Mrs. Rizzoli, Jane will pull through," Frost agreed, trying to convey as much confidence as he could. It wasn't like he was lying. He knew Jane was strong and he had no doubt she would pull through, but still… he was scared. "Jane will be fine and so will Nash," he added, looking at Maura who was yet to speak.

For two hours straight she had done nothing but pace from one side to the other. Maura looked terrified, she looked like she was one step away from breaking down completely, but for some reason she kept trying to hold it together. She would break down later when she knew Jane and her son were okay.

"Maura dear, come sit for a while. You need to save your energies. Nash will need you strong, sweetie," Angela tried to reason.

"I'm fine," she whispered.

Angela nodded. She wouldn't argue over this. She knew very well what Maura was feeling, not knowing if her child and girlfriend were going to make it. The possibly that she could lose them both was too much to handle and if pacing and distance helped her coping, Angela would stay put.

"Doctor Isles your son is out of surgery," a red haired nurse said, joining them in the waiting room.

Everyone let out a breath of relief.

"Oh thank God!" Angela and Maura both said at the same time, both resting their hands above their hearts.

Frankie smiled genuinely at Maura, who retributed it. He reached out for her and pulled her into a protective embrace. "It's all going to be fine, sis."

Maura nodded, hopeful.

"I don't know about your girlfriend yet, but I'll check on her for you if you all want it." The nurse spoke again.

"Thank you…" Maura managed to say just above a whisper as she looked at the nurse. She was delighted that Nash was out of surgery, however she didn't know what the doctor had to say to her about his injuries and they were yet to hear anything about Jane. She should have been happier with the news, but she simply couldn't. Not yet, not without Jane.

"Nurse?" she called for the lanky woman. The woman turned back and look questioningly at Maura. "When can I see my son?"

"We've cleared a room in ICU for him, but he hasn't come down yet," the nurse explained apologetically. "His doctor will come get you once your son is settled in his room."

Maura felt Frankie squeezing her tighter against him and for the first time that night she was thankful for the close proximity, because she couldn't take so much pain any longer. She hid her face on his chest and broke into guttural sobs, allowing him to hide her from everyone's view as she fell apart. Allowing him to comfort and protect her… _as Jane would._

**Rizzoli&Isles**

"What's going on?" the nurse asked one of the doctors who was watching the surgery from the gallery. "She decompensated in surgery. She's still flatline," he told the red haired.

"How long has she been down?"

"Twenty two minutes."

"Dammit... Her girlfriend and family are counting on a report on how she's doing. Her girlfriend is a doctor…" the woman shook her head. What was she supposed to tell them now?

"If I were you, nurse Jill, I would start hinting them to prepare for the worst," the doctor advised, never taking his eyes from the team down in the OR who was still trying to revive Jane.

**Rizzoli&Isles**

"Doctor Isles, Officer, Ma'am…" The surgeon greeted the three he knew were family, gloomily. Having just left surgery he was still wearing his cap.

"Please, sir… Doctor," Angela corrected herself. "What is going on with my daughter?" she asked frightened.

"Detective Rizzoli had a perforated intestine from the accident," the tall man explained, slowly, as if trying to hold back what he had to say. "When we operated to repair it, there were complications…" he hesitated.

"What are you saying?" Frankie demanded before Maura had a chance to react.

"She's in the ICU on a device that helps her heart and lungs oxygenate the blood," the surgeon continued, very wary of his words and clearly trying to soften news that couldn't possibly be softened no matter how you broke them. "There was bleeding during the operation and she went into shock… Then her lung collapsed, and finally, her heart stopped."

_Her heart stopped._

_Her heart stopped._

_Jane's heart… stopped._

_For how long? _

Maura couldn't take any more of it. For the second time in a short amount of time she found herself clinging to Frankie and breaking into tears. She wanted to ask questions, she wanted to think statistics, she wanted to argue with the doctor, but nothing would come to her mind. It was as if it had been wiped clean.

_Please tell me she's going to be fine._

"We got her heart to start again by putting her on a bypass machine," the surgeon told them.

"Is-is she gonna… die?" Frankie asked for everyone, not wanting to believe what he had just heard. His face was blank as if he was resisting accepting what he had been told. "Is my sister going to die?" he rephrased, holding Maura tighter and grabbing his Ma's hand, who clung to his arm without hesitating.

Everyone in the room held their breaths and fixated their eyes on the surgeon.

"She's in extremely critical condition," the doctor stalled, but when Maura looked straight at him, vulnerability pouring from every cell in her body, silently telling him to tell them the truth the man sighed. "Yes… due to the extent of her injuries and the complications during surgery, it is a possibility. The next 48 hours are going to be very critical. Even if Detective Rizzoli somehow manages to… survive… we can't say whether or not she will ever wake up or what kind of damage we'll be facing in case she does."


	3. Chapter 3: Time to Say Goodbye

**A/N: I'm so very thankful for each and every one you reading, reviewing, following and marking this story as a favorite... Thank you so much! It means the world :) You guys are awesome!**

**Okay...here's the deal... Some of you are getting upset with this fic because it's too sad right now. You just have to trust me that I'll work it all out for you. You will get what you want and that is me spoiling enough of this fic so no one is** **upset. So... do I still have readers or what? :) Come on guys... a little faith?**

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**Chapter 3: Time to Say Goodbye**

**June 3rd 2014 - Tuesday**

Never in her life had she imagined she would be in the position she was in right now. For a minute she thought maybe the empty life she had before she met Jane would have spared her of such pain. If she couldn't make friends, if she was still the extremely socially anxious human being, hiding from all interactions, she would have never gotten attached enough to anyone to ever experience this kind of pain. But then… without Jane she would have never known what true love was. She would hurt differently but still hurt… She would be lonely. She would have never taken a step towards having a child of her own. She would have never had a family who cared. She wouldn't have friends.

Maura looked down at her sleeping son.

He looked so pale and fragile covered in bruises and scratches. He wore only a diaper and she could very well see the large bandage covering his abdomen and the huge cast on his right arm. It made him look even smaller than he was and it made Maura experience a feeling of hopelessness. There was no amount of knowledge she possessed that could have prevented the accident or that could help either her son or Jane. She was impotent to help, impotent to think clearly.

She had been assured surgery had gone amazingly well and that a full recovery was to be expected. She would have been delighted with the news, she would have been relieved even, but she couldn't. Jane was still in a coma and her life was in critical danger. Maura's happiness hadn't lasted long as reality was too horrible. Her son would live, but Jane would likely die and the thought of that was enough to make her feel like dying herself. She was exhausted and her head throbbed violently as she looked at her baby and imagined having to tell him his mama wouldn't come back to them.

She couldn't raise Nash alone.

She couldn't breathe without Jane, let alone be strong enough to stand up for her son.

Maura stroked her little boy's blonde hair. All she wanted was for him to open his kind blue eyes. It didn't matter that the doctors had assured her Nash would be okay. She needed to see for herself that her son would wake up. She knew it would still take him a few hours to wake up, but she desperately needed to see him awake. She needed to hear her baby and make sure there was no further damage. She needed to see no one was hiding her anything.

"Maura you should get some rest," Frankie told her when he entered Nash's private room and saw her still standing on the same position where he and his Ma had left her. The paleness on her skin, the bloodshot eyes and the trembling of her body concerned him, but he couldn't blame the blonde. She was going through a traumatic event even worse than the one he was dealing with. Maura had been a loner her entire life until Jane came along. She had faced many kinds of rejection and neglect and if Jane died and something happened to Nash Maura would lose her entire life. Sure she would still have him and Ma, even Korsak and Frost, but he knew Maura couldn't give her life meaning without Jane. She loved them, he had no doubt about it, but without Jane he was afraid the Maura they knew would forever disappear. For the sake of his nephew he hoped he was wrong. He was still praying Jane would pull through, but he now couldn't help but prepare himself for the worst. The statistics weren't on Jane's favor and this time even he was mindful of statistics.

"How is Jane?" she asked hoarsely, running her fingers through her son's cheek.

"Ma is still with her…" Frankie avoided her gaze. "Maura I don't think you should see her… i-it looks bad…" he admitted emotionally only a moment later. He had almost ran out of his sister's room the minute he saw her. It looked nothing like the Jane he knew. There… laying in the bed he almost didn't recognize her – his own sister. She was a swollen mess covered in bandages from head to toe.

"I have to see her. I… There's indication that coma patients are aware. I need her to hear me. I need her to know we need her to fight. I need to tell her I love her and that I don't blame her. She needs to know Nash will be fine. She needs to know that. And I need to just… see her in case…" Maura shook her head, swallowing hard. She couldn't say the words but she knew Frankie knew what she meant when she saw him wincing. "So please Frankie… Keep an eye on Nash for me," she whispered.

Frankie only nodded. He understood.

As Maura left he turned his focus to his nephew, relieved to see at least the little guy didn't look in any way as bad as Jane.

**Rizzoli&Isles**

"Oh my God…" was the first thing Maura whispered when she saw Jane.

"Do you want to be alone with Janie for a moment?" Angela asked simply. The older woman too didn't feel like sharing many words with anyone.

"I can't ask you that Angela…" Maura started. She couldn't deprive a mother of being with their child as they took their final breaths.

"It's alright darling. I'll wait with Detecting Frost and Sargent Korsak." Angela was in fact glad she had a valid excuse to leave the room. It had become too much. She couldn't look at her only daughter and come to terms that she would probably die within the next couple of hours.

Maura followed Angela with her eyes as she gathered her things and left the room. The usually extravagant Rizzoli had now lost her sparkle. Her eyes were dark and depressed. Maura wondered if hers were a reflection of Angela's.

When the older woman closed the door behind her, leaving Maura alone with Jane, the doctor looked down at the floor and walked towards Jane's bed. She didn't have the courage to look at Jane at first. Frankie had been right… it did look bad. Maura started to cry. She wanted to reach for Jane's hand but she was afraid of touching her. Afraid that if she touched her she would break the thin glass the detective was now made of. If Jane died her last memory of her would be of someone she could barely recognize. She understood now what Frankie had been trying to protect her from. Maura breathed in deeply and slowly lifted her head to look at Jane. Jane's head was completely bandaged. Her face had gauze and bandages all around it and it was so swollen Maura knew even if Jane was to wake up she would barely be able to open her eyes or move her mouth to speak a sentence. Maura found herself sobbing harder, sitting back on the chair by Jane's side and clutching the bed sheets hard. She didn't even care if Jane would look something different once healed… she only wanted her girlfriend to survive.

"Jane please, please… fight this. Please do-don't d-d-die…" Maura cried. "Nash is okay," she hurried to tell her. Every minute was critical and she couldn't afford to waste it. She needed Jane to know. She prayed she could hear her. "Nash will be okay, Jane. I don't blame you. None of this is your fault. I love you… please don't leave us." Maura sniffled. "I don't know what I'll do if you… if you…" Maura gasped. "If you die… I can't… I can't deal with that Jane. I need you. Our son needs you. This can't be it. You can't die like this!" Maura said, starting to breathe faster. "I love you Jane! I love you with all I have. Don't you dare leave us!" she finished through gritted teeth.

"If you die, I'll die Jane. There will be nothing left for me here. I-I don't think I can be strong enough for Nash. What am I going to say to him? He's going to hate me. I don't know how to play his games like you do, I'm not the fun parent without you… I-I don't know how to do it alone Jane." Maura looked at her girlfriend's face once again, looking through the bruises and broken bones, visualizing the Jane she knew. "Sweetheart I know this will be a long recovery, but if you can hear me… if you can fight baby please fight. Fight for us," the blonde whispered, letting her tears fall on Jane's hand and carefully wiping them, mindful of Jane's broken fingers. She had just noticed Jane's injuries had been much more extensive than what they had told her. Obviously these were so minor they only bothered to tell them about the critical ones.

Maura got up from the chair and leaned into the bed so her mouth was close to Jane's ear. "If you can… please try baby. B-but… if you feel like… like it's time to go… if you can't… if it's too much… if you absolutely can't stay, then… let go sweetheart. But just know that we all love you very much a-and… we will miss you so much." Maura broke down. She had lost count on how many times she had cried and she didn't care anymore. Her heart was hurting, her life was hanging by a fine line. Keeping up appearances was the last thing on her mind. "I will miss you so much," she gasped, allowing her tears to flow freely, wetting Jane's pillow. "Nash and I will always lo-ve you. We will n-ever forget y-you. I won't let him forget about yo-u. I'll make sure he grows knowing how much you loved… love him," she whispered between sobs.

Regaining her breath, Maura placed a light and long kiss on Jane's bandaged head, wetting the white material as residual tears still ran down her face. Without a final look she turned to leave, not knowing if that was the last time she ever saw Jane alive.


End file.
